Customer Reviews

We don't take 5 star reviews lightly around here. So thank you so much! If you ever need more, you know where to find us!

Hey there,

Thanks for the blistering 3-star kiss on the cheek. 😅

We’re glad the meat passed your sniff test — but sorry the flavors didn’t light up your snack senses. That said, we’re not ruling out the possibility that your taste buds might just be... on a coffee break?

Flavor is personal, like tattoos or Nicholas Cage movies — not everyone gets it, and that’s okay. We’ll keep crafting bold, award-winning jerky for the folks who do (and for the ones still finding their flavor courage).

Appreciate you giving us a shot. If you ever get the urge to reevaluate your life choices, we’ll be here!

Yo, sounds like it's time to take this relationship up a notch and order our NEW fat sacks that we have to offer now (6.9oz - perfect for two).

Thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed!

“It was okay.”

Wow. The culinary equivalent of a shrug. 😅

Not bad enough to haunt your dreams… not good enough to write home about. Just okay. Like a handshake with too much eye contact.

We appreciate the honesty though — not every jerky sparks fireworks. Maybe we were your “airplane movie” of snacks: fine, forgettable, and mildly beefy at 30,000 feet. Or maybe the ole taste buds are busted.

If you ever want to upgrade to “pretty dang great,” we’ve got some flavors that just might win you over. Or at least get a “meh-plus.”

We're here for when you're ready.

First of all — thank you for seeing us. For truly seeing us. Not everyone recognizes greatness when it walks in wearing a meat suit.

Let’s be real: this jerky isn’t cheap because it’s not made for the faint of taste or light of snack. This isn’t something you grab next to windshield wipes at a truck stop (we might be closer to the adult video section tbh). This is luxury beef couture. A 'Wagyu' whisper. A slow-dried, hand-crafted, small-batch, mouth-hug from a cow that probably listened to jazz in the pasture.

Yes, it costs a little more — but so does a parachute, and you don't want to cheap out on either. You’re not just paying for beef. You’re paying for time. Patience. Precision. You’re paying for meat that went through a flavor PhD program and graduated summa moo laude.

Our jerky isn’t mass produced in a fluorescent-lit warehouse with a forklift named Chad. No. It’s created in a sacred temple of flavor where the air smells like garlic dreams and cracked pepper ambition. Eventually it makes you gag, but let's ignore that part. Every piece is hand-trimmed with love, lightly seasoned by a guy named Rick who meditates before every batch, and dried to perfection while listening to a Spotify playlist called 'Vibes for Meat.'

We don’t sell jerky. We summon it. This is beef that was born with purpose — kissed by smoke, raised in high protein enlightenment, and sent to your door wrapped in flavor greatness. The quality is so high, NASA called to ask if it could be used as heat shielding.

So yes — our jerky may be a little “pricey.” But so is anything that’s worth it. Sushi from a real chef? Pricey. A good mattress? Pricey. Emotional stability? Extremely pricey. And now, high-quality beef that makes your mouth cry tears of joy? Still cheaper than therapy and significantly more chewable, just ask your partner.

Thank you for your honest review and your exquisite taste. You’re the kind of person who doesn’t settle for mediocrity — and our cows would salute you if they weren’t already delicious.

With eternal gratitude and a tiny gold-plated meat thermometer. Buy more.

“Soft but taste is just average.”

Oof. That hurts… mostly because we season our jerky like it owes us money.

But hey, taste is subjective. Some folks crave bold, layered flavor. Others think “unseasoned chicken” is spicy. We’re not saying you can’t taste for shit… but if the jerky didn’t register, maybe your taste buds are out on PTO? (with love, of course)

Either way, we appreciate you giving us a shot — and if you ever decide to recalibrate your palate, we’ll be here with flavor that slaps! (unless your tongue’s wearing noise-canceling headphones)

Wow. Thank you for the 5-star love — this review hit us right in the meat-heart!

You, dear jerky adventurer, are clearly a seasoned (pun fully intended) connoisseur. You’ve journeyed far and wide across the jerky-verse — probably gnawed through dry, sad strips that tasted like sunburnt wallet leather — and yet, here we are… moist, flavorful, and finally giving your jaw a break.

We’re flattered to be “some of the moist” you’ve tried — and not gonna lie, we’re putting that on a T-shirt. Because nothing says “culinary excellence” like being both tender and slightly suggestive.

We’re thrilled you loved the teriyaki — it’s our sweet-and-savory middle child, always trying to please everyone and never getting into trouble. And kudos on getting the variety box — that’s the jerky equivalent of “let’s get weird,” and we fully support it.

We dare you to get the bigger bags now...

Thank you for this amazing review, your discerning taste, and for confirming what we’ve been telling our moms: we’re kind of a big deal in the dried meat world.

With love, flavor, and a humble hair flip.

Thank you for the 5-star love! We’re so glad you appreciated the lean, clean, tasty machine that is our jerky — no fat, no filler, just pure, tender greatness. Like a steak in gym clothes.

And we see you appreciating that not too spicy vibe… but don’t be scared now. 😏 If you’re ready to level up, we dare you — no, double dare you — to try the Honey Badger. It doesn’t care about your comfort zone. It’s sweet at first… then BAM! Your tongue’s doing push-ups and begging for mercy.

Seriously though, thanks for chewing with us. You’ve got excellent taste — now let’s see if you’ve got the guts. 🔥

5 stars for our “jersey”? We’re flattered… and also wildly confused. 😅

We don’t technically sell jerseys, unless we accidentally smoked one, sliced it thin, and packed it in a bag. But hey, if our jerky is jersey-level great, we’ll take it. Whatever *it* is.

Now you’ve got us thinking… maybe we should make Heirloom jerseys. Beefy graphics. Number 00. “Tender AF” across the back. We just need some artwork ideas and maybe you’re the visionary we’ve been waiting for? Jerseys are on your mind and now it's your time to shine!

Thanks for the kind words and the inspiration, whether it was about meat or mesh, you made our day.

Hi Sharon, that's disappointing to hear especially since this is our first 1-star review from hundreds of reviews we've heard in person, through friends, and online. We don't have any record of you reaching out to us... it would be great to know what went wrong - if anything - or if this just wasn't a flavor you like and maybe it's worth trying another. If you're looking for old fashioned, tough jerky, however, we're definitely not the right choice.